Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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