Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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