i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
