He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
