She is in my trunk
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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