No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
