WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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