Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
