Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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