It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
