Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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