Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
