I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
