yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
