I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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