Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
as a side note pls kill me
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