At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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