yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
