Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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