shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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