I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize