Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
