I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
