There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You ruined the universe
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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