I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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