I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
