I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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