Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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