Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize