just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
