so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
