Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
