All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
there is glitter all over my balls
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
