i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
