im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
