Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
