now i know why i became what i already was.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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