am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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