I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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