So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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