i think my mom watched the whole time
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
