That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
How external is "for external use only"?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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