Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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