his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize