some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
