all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
