I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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