last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
