You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
