you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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