i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
