Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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