Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
