i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Is it penis luge time yet?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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