So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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